I'm back

Well I have recently decided to pick up my life and a part of that is going back into the dating scene. I can honestly say that the past two years of dating a brother has really fell off. I guess a lot of it was catapulted by the numerous times I have gotten my feelings hurt. At this point I can not count the amount of times I was sitting in my bedroom singing "when will you call .. caaaaaall"(a la Bilal). Something about the whole dating thing and that whole calling thing fucks me up so I got tired of pursuing dudes and I became the one that didn't call. I could say I throw in the towel so fast it's never even clear if the person didn't like me or not I just know I don't want my feelings hurt so I cut them off before they cut me off and that makes it all the more easier or does it. I mean even worse then some one not calling, I feel like a loser if I am the one always calling them , its like wtf I like to feel special to.
I don't know, in the past two years I have learned many things and I have done to others the exact same things that have been done to me so in some instance I deserve what comes to me . I always wonder how it is you can hook up with some one and then they never speak to you again. It's like um we kissed all night and did xyz and now you cant even pick up the phone I mean why kiss me if you have no interest . Oh wait I can actually answer that myself because I have done it before and the reason why is because I was fucking horny, period point blank. And after I got that nut out of my system I wanted to turn over to them and be like are you still here (ooooh that sounds harsh) but I have issues with being touched by some people after I nut , I need therapy, confirmed moving on.
anyhow enough of the analyzing I'm back in the dating scene

still pondering the same thoughts

Quantity or quality

Well I went out Dolo again the other night and I must say I was on the quantity kick exchanged/gave my number to 5 dudes. 3 at the club and 2 on the train (disclaimer: I never speak to dudes on the train but they were staring at me and I thought fuck it you never know , and I'm convinced I will not meet the one by the usual means of online and the club.)
of all these five guys cant say I if I really liked any of them but I know they were all cute and maybe I will go out on a date with one or two if they call LOL. And if they don't quantitatively speaking it wont matter because I'm open to taking other numbers in the process.
So definately quantity will win I have been doing quality the past few years and its not something you can see because dudes will often mutate into what they think I would like and at the end of the day still be like the other superficial dick fiends on Adam.

Am I ready

yes more ready now then ever I feel like in the almost 5 years (my gay birthday is in January maybe I should celebrate) I been messing with dudes its like I went through my teen years , my exploration period , had my heart broke , had my feelings hurt, been a player everything I think I'm ready to really date . I just have to remember people coming over is not a date that's a hook up and if they come over we will do things we wouldn't normally do and that may leave me in a when will they call situation and that shit hurts my feelings I'm sensitive (damn hate that part of myself because most people would never know it)

what's the plan

I have to be in it to win it , I have to be social I have to leave my house and go out more often and I have to remember to smile and stop being an evil mofo. When I go out, if some one slaps me on the ass , pinches my nipple or grabs my dick it wont kill me , I will give them the evil eye afterward, well that depends on whether or not they are cute.

Well I will be posting every bit of what happens and we will see
( The next nights going out dolo will be Monday , Tuesday , Wednesday will be str8 club night, Thursday and maybe one day next weekend damn. I'm going to have to do this on a budget, the juice and drink will be done on the train )