I swipped this from some one its kinda cool
1. If you had to describe the most memorable night of your life, what would you say?
i have more then one but the one that sicks out right now is when i was walking down the street kissing my ex, for one moment in time i felt normal and i felt like love was real.
2. If you had to name the best album cover ever, which would it be?
Bitches Brew by Miles Davis, i think that shit looks so cool.
3. If you had to give up your favorite food forever, what is the minimum amount of money you would demand in return?
Fried Chicken 50,000
4. If you have can have anyone from history welcome you into the afterlife, who would you want it to be?
My Grandma
5. If you had to name the single most erotic part of the human body, what would it be?
Lower back , thighs aww fuck it a nice ass ( i dont care what anyone thinks thats real)
6. If you could say (or have said) one thing to your father on his deathbed, what would it be?
What was the reason for your absense (and at this age i'd actually listen and attempt to understand)
7. If you could have any view in the world visible from your bed, what would it be?
The Manhattan Sky line
8. If you could have prevented any single fashion idea or trend from ever happening, which would you have stopped?
The fanny pouch , what the fuck were people thinking and the fact that peopel still wear them , it throws me into a mini fit when i see them i was to stop them and ask " that shit cant fit into your pockets or bookbag ".
9. If you were to select a moment when you were convinced that an angel was watching over you, when would it have been?
I think there is always an angel over my shoulder especially when i get on the 2 train drunk as hell and reach home sleeping the whole way and dont get jacked at all.
10. If you could have heard the death bed confession of one person from history, who would you pick?
Mrvin Gaye , i would have really liked to have picked his brain and seen what was really going on.
11. If you could prevent someone from overusing one word, who would it be, and what word would it be?
irregardless, its a doublnegative and it irritates the hell out of me ( and why not throw in pacific, people who use that intead of specific make me crazy)
12. If you were to pick a city whose character best represents your own personality, which would you choose?
N y c , i am wild and crazy at times but i am also cultured and fast pased and sophistocated.
13. If you suddenly found the courage to do one thing you always been afraid of doing, what would you want it to be?
Swimming (hell i was a real inner city black youth and i never learned how to do that)
14. If you could commission of any living author to write a new book, who would you choose, and what you want them to write about?Will update when i get ananswer)
15. If you could have changed the mind of one person from history on one issue, who and what issue would you pick? (will update when i get an answer)
16. If you were to have three new baby daughters, what would you name them? (will update when i get an answer)
17. If you had to name the most gullible person you know, who is it?
(Will update when i get an answer.)
18. If you were to confess to how many people you have honestly been in love with, what would you say?
I would say half because i dont think i was in love but i was as close as im ever going to get.
19. If you could give an Academy Award to the most underappreciated actor in the history of Hollywood, who would you award it to?Nicholas cage that confused eye brow shit he does is priceless
20. If you could completely remove someone’s vocal cords for one year, whose would they be?
George W. Bush (he really brings out my inner Nat Turner)
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Thursday, March 23, 2006
The Latest Cat
How do I define myself ?
a good question I always ask myself . When I think of who I am I choose not to put myself in a little box. Black and gay are not the words that define me most. As a matter of fact I don't even consider myself to be gay , was never a word that fit into my make up . I still haven't found a word that describes what it is I am but that one doesn't fit me well.
Well I have been kicking it with this cat for the past few weeks. (thinking Trying to find the best way to describe him) well he is a cutie for sure . Not what I always go for but nonetheless interesting . We had one of those weekend dates that leaves you wanting more . The thing I liked most about him was that he was a man about his. Sometimes masculinity can out rule looks for me . Something about kissing and sexing a man that looks and acts like a man that turns me on. Anyway our weekend date left me wanting more. But the brother has a lot of minuses. More minuses then pluses. He's one of those that when you tell your friends about them they say "now you know he is not in your league" and as much as I agree with them my pride will not allow me to admit it nor admit that the reason I kick it with him is based on the fact that there are no other options out their for me at the moment and he is a good "in between man". What are the minuses , so many to list and when I start to do that they begin to cancel him out. He doesn't have a job( at first when I was trying to get some I thought oh well his problem not mine , but damn that shit is a turn off alot of his mentality reminds me of the nonchalant attitude that is stifling the black community) , he smokes up like crazy, has proved himself to be extremely inconsistent ( in a effort to put some distance between himself and I he didn't call me for a good 5 days then popped up like everything was all good)and he speaks as if he is deep when in reality he has nothing to say.
anyway after him proving his level of inconsistency I decided to give him another try . From the beginning he could detect my attitude with him over the phone . I think I have entered an age in my life where I cant even force myself to be phony the realness just comes out anyway, it can even come out when I really may not be keeping it real.
so we met up, (which consisted of him coming over and chilling. I wanted to go of the movies but he didn't so we ended up just chilling here and talking for what seemed like hours then hitting up a diner. ( Side Bar: he wasnt a man about his anymore his real personality showed up, i remember joking about having his representative come back , it was one of those joke but not really a joke moments lol) Our talking consisted mostly of him spewing off his "philosophy " drawn from an immense pool of ignorance but nonetheless I gave it a good ear. He made it his business to constantly check me for not being to responsive to what he was saying , when in all honesty I wasn't responding because I didn't have anything to say. This man does not catch my mind at all. I wanted him to shut up for real.
Then we got into the discussion of the fact that he was out to his family and I wasn't. And he went through the whole thing of how I was afraid of societies opinion of who I was and as long as I was afraid societies opinion I didn't know who I was. And he rode his soap box on this issue for awhile. I really do not see what difference coming out would make in my life . The reason I choose to keep this part of My life a secret to most people I know is just because its not all of who I am . It is not something by which I choose to be known for. I have no interest in being someones gay friend/relative etc. I choose to be known for who I truly am and that doesn't mean I don't know who I am. I know very well who I am its just that every one else doesn't know the whole of who I am but they know the essence of who I am .
So I guess another one bites the dust. After this last visit he now calls every day and I have less and less to say and almost no interest in him i guess he will catch the drift after awhile.
a good question I always ask myself . When I think of who I am I choose not to put myself in a little box. Black and gay are not the words that define me most. As a matter of fact I don't even consider myself to be gay , was never a word that fit into my make up . I still haven't found a word that describes what it is I am but that one doesn't fit me well.
Well I have been kicking it with this cat for the past few weeks. (thinking Trying to find the best way to describe him) well he is a cutie for sure . Not what I always go for but nonetheless interesting . We had one of those weekend dates that leaves you wanting more . The thing I liked most about him was that he was a man about his. Sometimes masculinity can out rule looks for me . Something about kissing and sexing a man that looks and acts like a man that turns me on. Anyway our weekend date left me wanting more. But the brother has a lot of minuses. More minuses then pluses. He's one of those that when you tell your friends about them they say "now you know he is not in your league" and as much as I agree with them my pride will not allow me to admit it nor admit that the reason I kick it with him is based on the fact that there are no other options out their for me at the moment and he is a good "in between man". What are the minuses , so many to list and when I start to do that they begin to cancel him out. He doesn't have a job( at first when I was trying to get some I thought oh well his problem not mine , but damn that shit is a turn off alot of his mentality reminds me of the nonchalant attitude that is stifling the black community) , he smokes up like crazy, has proved himself to be extremely inconsistent ( in a effort to put some distance between himself and I he didn't call me for a good 5 days then popped up like everything was all good)and he speaks as if he is deep when in reality he has nothing to say.
anyway after him proving his level of inconsistency I decided to give him another try . From the beginning he could detect my attitude with him over the phone . I think I have entered an age in my life where I cant even force myself to be phony the realness just comes out anyway, it can even come out when I really may not be keeping it real.
so we met up, (which consisted of him coming over and chilling. I wanted to go of the movies but he didn't so we ended up just chilling here and talking for what seemed like hours then hitting up a diner. ( Side Bar: he wasnt a man about his anymore his real personality showed up, i remember joking about having his representative come back , it was one of those joke but not really a joke moments lol) Our talking consisted mostly of him spewing off his "philosophy " drawn from an immense pool of ignorance but nonetheless I gave it a good ear. He made it his business to constantly check me for not being to responsive to what he was saying , when in all honesty I wasn't responding because I didn't have anything to say. This man does not catch my mind at all. I wanted him to shut up for real.
Then we got into the discussion of the fact that he was out to his family and I wasn't. And he went through the whole thing of how I was afraid of societies opinion of who I was and as long as I was afraid societies opinion I didn't know who I was. And he rode his soap box on this issue for awhile. I really do not see what difference coming out would make in my life . The reason I choose to keep this part of My life a secret to most people I know is just because its not all of who I am . It is not something by which I choose to be known for. I have no interest in being someones gay friend/relative etc. I choose to be known for who I truly am and that doesn't mean I don't know who I am. I know very well who I am its just that every one else doesn't know the whole of who I am but they know the essence of who I am .
So I guess another one bites the dust. After this last visit he now calls every day and I have less and less to say and almost no interest in him i guess he will catch the drift after awhile.
update
its been a minute since i posted
in the interim many things have happened.
one of the main things was the loss of my grandmother . i wont go much into it but this was a very hard thing to go through . she was trully some one special in my life. she is also the first person that i have lost that was really close to me . lossing a loved one makes me sit back and think . think about that person and think about my own mortality. makes me think if she had lived it to the extent that she wanted to . was she happy , did she take every chance she needed to , did she experience all she wanted to and it leaves me to think the same things for myself.In retrospect i think she did it all and i think she lived her life liek it was golden . now how about me , i know for sure i am in the beginning stage and i havent even begin to start the journey we call life. Oh boy i have so many things to do.
in the interim many things have happened.
one of the main things was the loss of my grandmother . i wont go much into it but this was a very hard thing to go through . she was trully some one special in my life. she is also the first person that i have lost that was really close to me . lossing a loved one makes me sit back and think . think about that person and think about my own mortality. makes me think if she had lived it to the extent that she wanted to . was she happy , did she take every chance she needed to , did she experience all she wanted to and it leaves me to think the same things for myself.In retrospect i think she did it all and i think she lived her life liek it was golden . now how about me , i know for sure i am in the beginning stage and i havent even begin to start the journey we call life. Oh boy i have so many things to do.
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