Try To make me go to rehab, I said no no no...

Well carrying on with the Amy Winehouse theme I was feet first in the crack house yesterday. But I decided not to go straight to adam I decided to start with his ghetto little sister BGC. And it was like riding a horse . I hit up dudes they hit me up . Before I knew it 4 hours flew by and I was still sitting there juggling about 5 different chats on Yahoo, AIM and BGC. It was interesting , it was alright but somewhere in the back of my head I was thinking hmm where is all of this going and with the fire burning inside of me all this wasn't queltching it.

So I decided to go out to splash , after talking to one of the dudes from bgc on the phone I got up fixed my hair up, took a shower and when I went to get dressed I realized the shirt I brought didn't fit at all , it didnt even close to fit. Oh shit this could have ruined the night because I had planed for that to be my next club outfit but I had to recycle a shirt that I had worn 2 weeks ago to a house party but it was all good I wasn't going to let that stop me.

I decided I was going to step out last night with a positivity molotov coctail . This consisted of my ipod with a playlist of only happy uplifting songs , alot of gospel mixed in and the main ingredient watermelon vodka and cranberry in one bottle and watermelon vodka and grape juice in the other bottle , who says vodka and gospel dont go together , in my world they are a perfect match. I was having my own private party coming from the bronx into the city and by the time I hit 96 street I was kind of lit. When I got of at 18th street couldn't nobody tell me I wasn't the shit , couldn't nobody tell me life wasn't great and amazing, nothing could break my stride.
So I got in the club, it was cute, lots of people , the energy was great. The energy of splash on a tuesday night is always great. I would say splash and the defunct luke and leroy always were the ideal spots for me and the vibe is always good. It doesnt feel like culture club or now Shelter where I feel like I am being sized up from the moment I step in the door. Those parties to me bring in an element of fashion faboulosity and elitist attitudes. It's not like I can't roll with em because I can stroll with the best, but it isn't me. The inner me is a nerdy black boy from Queens who read books during gym and once wore church shoes and a pink dress shirt to school in the 7th grade circa 1991 a very bold move and fashion no no for the time period oh yeah and dressing like that was also like commining social suicide but hell I had no freinds so it didn't matter. In Splash I feel relaxed and u can be you in that club. You just go have some drinks and have fun, thats what everyone is doing there having fun. 75 percent of Shelter is mingling and looking and sizing up, people aren't dancing like there is no tomorrow in there, not unless they are white boy drunk. Anyhow I digress.

So I do the coat check thing take a leak and hit the dancefloor at splash. The minute I hit the floor I see this dude and I'm like fuck he is cute. But he was dancing with some one and I was thinking he probably won't like me anyway but whatever won't let that fuck with my positivity molotov coctail ( I am human insecurity does sneak in every now and then.) Anyhow I stayed there and started to get my boogie on and when I turned around none other then Mr. Sexy was looking at me well not looking but staring. So I said "whats up " and we started dancing and talking . He kept telling me how good he thought I looked. I loved it I didn't want to let him go. Then I did something I dont do (one of my new philosophies when you keep doing the same thing you get the same results) I had to pee badl, I told him I had to go to the bathroom but I didn't want to leave him. So I asked him to come with me. He did we held hands walking to the bathroom and coming back. Then we sat at a table and talked for a minute where I told him I want to be with one person . In 30 minutes I broke every rule in the playa handbook. On page one it tells not to hold hands at the club, discuss how you really feel about relationships and yeah let some dude know he has got you burning up on the inside. If "Don Majic Wand" could see me now he would take his walking stick and shove it right into my windpipe. Well fuck the playa handbook, that shit aint got me nuthing but lonely winter after winter, time to do something new.

So finally he did have to leave I walked him to coat check, yup holding his hand. He introduced me to like 8 friends he got his coat we hugged and yes there was a peck or two and he left. I stayed he said he would let me know when he got in, and yes he actually did , I was still at the club. After he left I got another drink and the D.J. got wicked on the turntables and I danced like my life depended on it and I had such a good time.

The Universe is a trip , I guess I really dont need BGC or Cousin Adam after all and the universe had to express that to me blatantly.