Do I smell desperation?

Well I guess all things will come to the surface at some point. So this week with my Jersey friend just started off with disjointed communication. I was starting to feel like talking to him was a chore. It was just wasted time. The communication was dead. After a few days of phone tag he called and said it was soemthing he needed to speak to me about. And he basically dumped me lol. It makes me kind of laugh evertime I think of it. I guess he didn't dump me but we did agree on one thing, the spark was gone and that is the truth for sure. He had become like my homeboy in a sense. When he was around I didnt feel that animalistic tiger inside of me that wants to rip dudes clothes and make love to him , like you feel when you are getting into something new with some one. Well I felt it in the beginning and it fell off after then . And considering I didnt see him on a consistent basis I tink thats what fizzled everything out

Any how I guess we will be freinds or associates. He asked what I meant by associates and I said "soem one that you say whats up to in the club." Time will tell where that goes. I really respect the fact that he called me up and told me what was up that was a good thing. I didn't even have it in me to tell him how I felt first .But damn why was I pushing this. It was obvious to every one I talked to about this that it wasnt going where I wanted it to go. It was obviouse that this wasnt the situation for me but I just wanted some one to spend this cold ass winter with shit is that a crime. I dont even feel sad about the whole thing I feel somewhat relieved. Its ok if I have a winter with myself , I will be aight , I been aight every other winter.