Angry BlackMan Syndrome

Angry black man syndrome is a term that my brother and I used to describe my stepfather . I swear he was the most complaining ass black man i ever met. and he constantly had that evil ass attitude. He was like a James Evans/samuel L Jackson on a 10. as a kid i really thought the man was insane and just a complacent mofo. Now while i still do think the same I can understand where that anger comes from

Im the past few months i can say that i have been more angry theni have been in the past few years. And its not just one of those i dont liek my job kind of agries. Its beyond just taking a nap and getting over it. it just a constant cycle of let downs. everyone is letting me down and nothing is working out. I have lost two freinds in the past 6 months and both of them I can say that i was so angry I them I wanted to hurt them. Me wanting to hurt people its just not me. But i am tired of being there for motherfuckers when they are going through there shit and them lossing it on me on some what have you done for me lately shit and in most cases i have done alot.
One of the freinds i lost was over some hes changing his life bullshit , when in relaity he has decided to pursue a more dl lifestyle and some how our friendship cant endure that. That made me sooo angry because i thought our friendship was deeper then that bull , but i guess its not so fuck him and the horse he rode in on (he is still fucking dudes so lets be real no difference between him and i , hell theres is difference i aint hardly fuckign no dudes i digresss)
The other freind i lost was on some money issue . Dude is fucking with my money thinking im rich and can be dicked around liek that and it is ok . he said some evil shit in the process and all i can think right now is I want to smash his ugly face in. damn his is the thanks i get for supporting his shows , and being their everytime his relationships crumble , and staying up on the phone talking to him, and lending him money , and just doing the shit friends do. Although i was pretty clear our friendship was coming to and end there is a certain song and dance to things that should happen. If that song and dance is turned in to a war of word s then you know exactly what you trully meant to that person nothing.
Motherfucker.
I cant believe im having such an A.B.S. (angry blackman syndrome) moment that I cant even
sleep
Next im being forced into financial ruins, bill collecters are fucking me raw dogg with no lube, vaseline, sticky nasty KY, nothing . I was standing on a corner in manhattan cursing out one of them today because he froze my back account after i had already made an agreement to pay things off .Thats just not me i dont speak in that manner but i was seeing red i wanted to wait for him after work and strangle him .
Motherfucker
I think my cable is going to be cut off , after all i payed the suns of bithces they cant wait for 2 more weeks. and half of me is saying cut the shit off , theres nothing to watch on there anyhow and i need to read more anyhow. cutt it off see if i care.
I wont even start on my whole job situation. im so angry about that place i have been having dreams that i have huge collosal arguments with my supervisor and they all end in me telling her to kiss my black ass
Im a good person why am i going through all of this.
And i cant even date anyone anymore because what used to be a wall is now like a fortress. I dont trust motherfuckers be cause of the last dude i was kicking it with who really took advantage of me . he caught me at a moment of weakness and for some reason it was hard for me to let him go, what i was bugging. another person i want to strangle.
Motherfucker
acid reflux WTF of all days why today
Acne WTF of all days why today ( i look like a friggin teenager)
Im such an angry black man,
this post looks like i need therapy ot jesus or something , hell maybe i will try both
I think im goign to go check out Creflo Dollar on saturday (that sounds like a plan )
I think i can go to bed now
(not editing this just letting it flow how i felt it)