Who is a real friend

for the record i have been in the life for 4 years (damn my 4 year anniversary came and went , i forgot about it ) i think in this blog i will talk about alot of my experiences.
today im going to talk about who is a real friend in this lifestyle
an incident comes to mind that happened about a 8 months ago
their was a guy i was kicking it with in the summer of 2004, well let me be real not kicking it it was more like i wanted to kick it and he wanted to fuck around. Not that im a ho but there are some people i will come at like a slut ( and if i had to take a vote people like the slut more the other side no one really cares about ) and some people i will hold off on to get to know because i want more and he was one of those people. the funny part is i think i was more of the type of person he'd want to jump off with.any how me and dude kicked it two times in one day on our first date , he took me to a cook out with his freinds then called me up to go spend the night with him at a freinds house he was sitting for . i let that convince me that he had some sort of interest in me. anyhow i will remember durring the fooling around i stopped things when they were getting to far because i didnt see why we should go there.
Two things were done by him durring that night that should have clued me into where this was going
1) he said we will make good friends ( i ignored that)
2) he didnt kiss me before we parted ( i beleive that if you do not get that kiss before you walk out the door after doing god knows what the night before the person doesnt like you , or they may like you but your just a jump off and its not that serious)
any way all things considered i thought that i had met some one who was about something and not like he rest of the trash in the club( a good lesson learned the trash at the club can morph themselves into different personalities in order to lure you inn on occassion not that he was trash but it is something i have experienced with others before). so i kept the communication going ( oh yeah when you call some one all the time and they dont call you , that means they dont liek you). even though he never called me i thought to myself well he doesnt send me to voicemail and we always have a discussion. plus i think personality wise my representative was taking over (I have to think of a name for him) and my representative is nothing liek me , hes very mild mannered and passive and quiet and for awhile he has been very dead. its just sometimes when i meet some one i really like i dont want to show them the real deal in fear they will walk out because to be honest i can be one wild and crazy cussing mofo but i am crazy fun and soemtimes i think thats part of the reason my real freinds like me because im always living my life liek its golden.
anyhow i digress
i stopped calling dude but we saw each other around alot at clubs and what have you
and he would always give the stop and chat and the fake ass hug like we was cool like that . this i think is so unnecessary and i dont understand the phoniness that goes on .anyway one night in a drunkin mode i snubbed dude
fast forward to now he became a freind of one of my friends , you know that always happens , the circle is way too small. my friend for some reason thought we might know each other and asked me if i knew him i said yes and then he asked dude if he knew me and he tried to act like he didnt. after he gave in and said he knew me he went on to bad mouth me and talk about how shady i was, here where the real friend comes in . my freind preceeded to tell him off and discontinue communication . even after that they saw one another and my friend called him on the fake ass behavior that he does which is soemthing i doubt i would do but i though it was fly that he would do such a thing
now one may wonder why this stands out to me . mainly because i think friendships in this lifestyle are mainly fake i have people who consider themselves to be my best freinds and they still have conversations with several people who talk shit about me. they will call me up and say xyz person said xyz about you and i think to myself hmmm i dont think i would have let that go to far but considering you did i will put that in my memory file and keep the pending stamp on your friendship application.