Rumors

This is my first blog an i should introduce myself but i figure i will do that at some other time
but today i want to talk about rumors
well before i even begin all i can think of is this song by a gospel group thati dont know of but i have them on my ipod and the song brings tears to my eyes eventhough im technically not a christian and there is a line in it that goes " i pray for you you pray for me i love you i need you to survive, i wont harm you with words from my mouth i love you i need you to survive"
do we really need each other to survive , hell yeah we do . and that line makes me think about how much people have hurt me with words from thier mouths and i am sure that i have done the same.
so the matter at hand
I am by day a nyc public school teacher . joined the profession in the beginning because i wanted to do some meaningful work with my day times and it leaves me ample time to pursue my musical career. well in the few years i have been teaching it basically consumes all my time and my musical career is a distant memory. when everi do write a song im surprised i still remember how to do that. the job though has always been difficult to me i wonder why. an artist friend once told me that i will continue to have difficulty in all of these things i pursue outside of my purpose until i begin to pursue what is my purpose.
anyhow in this environment i am somewhat of a celebrity (if we can call it that). so along with celebrity status comes the rumor mill
the latest rumours are two rumors that contradict one another. rumour one that i want to marry a coworker and rumour two that i am gay , shocking well both are. once again some one has harmed me with words from their mouth
their is such a crime in being different and i have been paying the price for that crime since day one.
im not marrying homegirl although i love her to death and she means alot to me
am i gay well i would definenetly never call myself that..... I am a black man i really dont identify with that term
not that i would have to explain myself
maybe im bi who knows i have never really sat back to think about as much i just do me and spread love and give love when need be and beleive that love has no titleor gender(hmm that sounds kinda gay ) whatever all i know is that im not confused and the least you make it an issue in your life then it becomes not an issue , maybe thats why i feel offended by the whole thing
in my own personal opinion the whole gay thing is seen in the str8 world as oh hes gay and all they can see is a dick going up your ass. so i guess thats why it offends me because thats not my reality. any how freinds have been dispelling the rumour and strrangely enough it doesnt hurt me as much as it would have in the past but it does sting to know that people who i have not harmed with words from my mouth have no problem harming me just to get a glimpse inside my life ....