Well for the past week or so I have been dipping my feet in the pool of exclusivity. I have calmed myself and put my focus into one person to see where that would go. I must admit I am dipping my feet and the water is a litle cold at times and sometimes its nice and warm and I just want to jump in and take a dive. But for the most part I have been going to the pool and it has been closed for renovations.
Where is this going. Now, I am not one to even try to say that I know the first thing about being in a relationship but I do know that in the beginning stages of dating some one you are given a preview as to what it would be like when and if you decide to acclimate that person into your life. So it is of some importance that at that time period you give that person your best. I think I am giving my best, but two incidents that have happened in our brief courtship have led me to believe he isn't giving his best and I am definitely not one to accept some ones "c" game. I am "A" list and you need to be on your "A" game if you want to be with me.
Incident number one; during a cassual conversation about something he cut me off and told me he wasnt interested in that topic. Ummm what? that was my responce and to be who I trully am I called him on it. I said "well what would you like to discuss" and he had nothing to discuss. After catching on to the fact that I had an attitude he just basically said "oh you are being too sensitive." That statement is one of my pet pieves. In most cases when some one says some one is being too sensitive what they are really saying is " I am not willing to own up to the fact that I just offended or disrespected you so I am going to put it back on you." Anyhow I ended the discussion abruptly because my feelings were hurt a little . He called the next day and was extremely nice, I guess that was and attempt at an appology but next time I would like an actual appology.
Incident number two; I took my first trip out to Jersey. And a trip it was. First of all it was raining like a mother outside second of all I missed the Jersey train which made my commute time last 2 hours. Before I got there he text me that he had company, WTF. Any how it was cool I chilled with them for a minute then they left and we chilled a little more and fell asleep in one anothers arms (that was sweet) but it didnt not erase the fact that it took some compromise for me to go to his house on a weekeday and the least he could have done was make sure he didn't have company over. I would never do that to some one who lived down the street from nonetheless some one who just traveled beyond an hour to see me.
So now what, well being that the pool is closed for renovations so often (meaning we don't see each other that often, it's all mainly phone convo and thats getting boring. Even when I try to plan something out he says he is broke = big turn off.) one is only left to try to find a pool closer to home. I am not saying that I will throw in the towel yet but he is leaving alot of open space, more then enough space for some one else to step in and depending on who it is I may just let them. Damn damn damn.
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3 comments:
Yo wassup. I ran into your post from a comment you made on someones page.
Ummmm well I have a couple thoughts. The beginning stages of dating are always the toughest for me because it's hard when you're "testing the waters" to see if you want to get in. It takes patience by both individuals to understand one anothers temperment. Even if said individual wasn't interested in what you had to say, he still should have lended an ear because it was important to you and I hope that you would offer the same ear to his interest. Communication is so important pa and if it's something that bothers you, speak on it WITHOUT attacking. Also understand that when you're 'dating' someone, you don't have an obligation to that person. Hell if someone comes along that is better for you, understands and connects with you on that level, I say entertain the idea. Just my personal thoughts.
Congrats on traveling out of Jerz! LoL.
~Damnit!
Dude sounds like a alright guy, but that cutting you off shit, was a no-no. I don't mean to patronize him (my "dude" said no-no to me and I like to had a fit!), but what he did was completely childish and very selfish. One of the most important things, and prob the most important component in any relationship is communication. And if he can't be considerate enough to hear you our, despite his back draws, then whatever you have is not worthy. 'Cause you'll only continue to have even worse issues, beyond this point, esp. if you don't call him on it. But like Blaq said, you don't owe him anything...you might be exclusive, somewhat, but you're not committed and you're not married. Don't think you have to settle for lesser then, when you know you can do better. And plez don't hesitate about testing out waters...that's what dating is all about...hell, I encourage seeing other people simultaneously, 'cause you don't wanna get stuck with somebody who's broke like Chuck, and that you really don't like, just because he shows you a good time. Be good.
Uh I think the red flags you mentioned are important. It doesn't mean the relationship won't work, but they can't be ignored because they are not good signs. Take things slowly, allow things to evolve without any expectations, and if you move on, well, then feel ok about moving on.
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