MY Darius Lovehall

Hmm i think that darius was one of the flyest dudes ever .
I mean the way he was is just perfect . i ve always thought that would be the type of dude for me to be with he was smart , artistic good looking , passionate all that shit . i always thought hmm would i ever meet him or some one liek that .
after years of searching met him two times
went on a date with him kissed him felt tingly didnt want to leave got on a plane and came back home to my reality .
met him both times in atl
my first darius lovehall was a trip, one of the most beautiful dudes i have ever met. He walked with the light ( that the best way i can describe it, it seemed as though something was shining over him.) I met him in bulldogs maybe two years ago and went back to atl for pride that same year and met up with him again. He drives a funky asss truck doesnt care if his locks look unkept, writes songs and thought i was too fly for words. i can still rememebr what his body looks like what his kiss was like , the way he smilled and danced while we were at the bowling alley it was one of the best dates of my life . i got on the plane and came back to the cold ass nyc. In time the communication fell off . along with him telling me something about himself which took a little away from his shine. but damn in retrospect i think i could still have been with him .
My second darius Lovehall . well this one is kinda still fresh he is still very much in my system in a way . i actually met him here on new years day 2005. and interesting day i was at rockwells i was drunk and i was in whorish mode , lets be real about it i was dancing and collecting numbers. darius lovehall 2 came up to and started to kick it , now the irony is the night before i saw him in krash ( ill yuck nasty dont liek that spot) i was there with one of my boys (ooh let me give him a name like other people do on thier blogs im sure ill mention him again) im goign to call him Carmex( if oyu saw his lips you get it but hes hot we go back and hes my boy)anyhow in the midst of collecting numbers and being in whoremode darrius lovehall 2 was not the main thing on my mind. i actually ended up hooking up with some one else that night. only embarassed about it because part of my new years resolution was no more hooking up ( hooking up for me means usually some making out a little jerky jerky maybe and posibbly some sucky sucky i rarely have sex cause im scared to death of it to be honest with you) now its not that I hook up much but i go for long extenuated times of no involvement and then i just have to have something and a hook up is aight until i find what i really want and a person i really want would know because i wouldnt be all on thier ass in most cases lol. sometimes i cant resist. anyway i digress
back to darius lovehall 2 well i was a dick with him and he eventually got back with his boyfreind and told me he would rather not speak to me anymore . and in all honesty i didnt care. when we were speaking i told him i usually go to atl easter weekend, so low and behold there he was in the club and what a night it was. we danced the whole night and ended it with a kiss eventhough i was under the impression he had a man dont know if it was true or not but you make exceptions for a daius lovehall. any way we communicated for awhile and it fell off.
fast foreward to king weekend 2006 i went to a club yet again on the last night i was in atl and who did i see darius lovehall 2. wow i was bugging and we exchanged number and met up and had a date and he then drove me to the airport. being in his pressence this time i felt as though i had met the one i mean i'll explain . he is about 5 9 average height and build but so not average , extremely cute , and funky . he is the type of dude that could care less if he matches . he has every cd i do he loves JIll and thats a plus and he adores me . our date was so hot and we really didnt do much , but a day in his life was enough, just walking around with him was cool and seeing his world and another side of atl. anyhow we got back to the airport and i swear i didnt want to leave . we kissed and kissed and kissed . just thinking about being intimate with him made me feel tingly . anyway during the kissing he touched my dick and i didnt know what to do if i could just have frozen that moment in time . at that moment i was feeling somehting i hadnt felt in awhile ( well since darius lovehall one lol and this little wack ass dude in between he was more like an eric benet you know comes off like a darius lovehall but is actually the typical nigga on some bullshit) any how the whole experience was great . unlike other peopel i will dive right into things i know wont go anywhere just to have the experrience , why not. now its a bout a month later and we are kinda drifting apart because i cant do it anymore ( the long conversations and all and the false hope that someday we will chill agian and i pretty much kissed my atl living situation inquiries good bye)
so the purpose of this post is to acknowledge the fact that the darius lovehall is what i like and in order to find what i want i need to see what it is they had.
1) Inteligent
2) Funky ( both dudes were stylish rebels and extremely indiviual that shit made my dick hard)
3) unconventional beauty ( both was fly but they would never be adam4adam poster boys but they was so fly to me )
4) they had something to say , something to live for , purpose and conviction
5) they adored me ( it wasnt like other dates with the typical nyc gay riff raff, where cell phones are going off and im half interested and the other dude is trying to figure if im thugged out or whatever or if im to pretty to fuck him or whatever
6) i was extremely attracted ( very important i often kick it with people i dont like and it goes nowhere just because im trying to go for something different)
7) walks with the light
so with all this in mind i think i can look for what it is i really really want.

One is the lonliest number

Hmm. i wasnted to go out tonight . called up one of my boys last night asked if he was free he said yes and now its 12 39 and i am sitting writing on this damn blog that no one reads. cant really be upset with him this behavior goes pretty much in line with whats been going on with me these days . all my boys have shacked up pretty much left me dolo. usually it doesnt happen this way but i must admit winters are always ruff on me especially since i been living alone . winter is cold and lonely and i cant wait for the season to change. i guess next year i better follow the trend ( i dont know i say it as if i could ever do something so stupid) anyway thats that i think i might make it a year with out having sex (well i fooled around but that dont count)